Dying By Degrees........

My elderly father is in hospital again ........ it's been an ongoing struggle for him over the last five years.....every day he edges further and further away from the father I knew... as his mind deteriorates and his memory fades...his loss of mobility and endless list of health issues from end stage emphysema, heart failure, daily self catheterisation and massive inoperable inguinal hernia...the list goes on....strangers now shower him as we try hard to keep him at home with my elderly mum trying to care for him....he is at times a very difficult and angry man.  His dependence on others for the simplest of tasks and what he sees as the loss of his dignity is heartbreaking....at only 46 kg now he is half the man he used to be. ... It's difficult to deal with him at times as he strikes out at those closest to him....At times I question is it love or empathy that keeps me continually running back and forward to take care of him and I guess it's a mixture of both, but on the hardest days when he is at his worst I think it is out of duty and honour to him as my father that makes me keep going back.  I hope the current generation will retain the same respect for their parents as we all head into our supposedly golden years.

Happier times...me and dad at his 80th birthday , 6 years ago....